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Welcome to Cynical Sunshines Writin' Archives. You'll find pretty much a ranting history of Squamish BC over the past couple years. From brothels and bikes to political lambasting and... well... other stuff. The following are the original columns that appeared in assorted publications. BEWARE these are the unedited articles. If there are any spelling of grammatical errors I blame my chain-smoking, dominatrix secretary's almost heroic intake of cocktails.

Squamish Chief Archives:

 Election Fever(09.12.08)
 Federal, USA, and Municipal...
 Oh yeah, and I'm running too.

 Silver Lining (08.15.08)
 Highway closures are great.

 Hunting Festival Season (08.01.08)
 Wabbit, Duck and Festival Season.
 Good times in the corridor.

 Thank the Enabler (07.18.08)
 The people who let you have fun.
 We need more of those people.

 Lets do this again(07.04.08)
 Squamish festival days - great food,
 and dancing in the streets - nice.

 Best of times?(06.20.08)
 Squamish hates children on bikes.
 Pathetic? Yes, but believable.

 Chamber for $100(06.06.08)
 GAS bought Squamish Chamber?
 WIth such inept leaders, why bother?

 Local Social(05.23.08)
 A way to meet your neigbors...
 I can't believe no one thought of this.

 Hello, hello again(05.09.08)
 The more things change...
 Will Squamish ever really change?

 Slow Ride Take it Easy (04.25.08)
 Squamish rides to bring awareness.
 Sadly, someone has to die to care.

 Place your Bets (04.11.08)
 Squamish gets a Casino? Not really.
 We get problems without profits.

 Squamish with G.A.S.
 Could Squamish stop it if we want...
 Or is it another Province 'done deal'?

 With MLA's Like These...
 Another Provincial Liberal dump in Squamish.
 This time it's gasoline in a park.

 Reminiscing the Future (02.29.08)
 Another "I remember when" victory.  And a quick pulse of the streets.

 Take Out the Trash (02.15.08)
 Is our Mayor anti-recycling? Weird.  Plus the affordable housing hoax.

 Another Jewel (02.01.08)
 Cross country skiing in Squamish?  
 Not quite but still fun!

We're hopped now (01.18.08)
 Beer Shortage! Jesus H Hops!
 Why and what's to be done?

 A call to integrity (01.04.08)
 John Weston and Ian Sutherland
 Proves laws are for the un elected.

 Oh Santa, you shouldn't... (12.21.07)
 Everybody sing this festive ditty...
 "Conrad Black is going to pri-son!"

 In the thick of it (12.07.07)
 It's festive time and we're broke.
 A few tips of the hat for the holidays.

 The whole shocking thing  (11.23.07)
 Taser talk. RCMP killing is bad?
 Uphill PR battle to say the least.

 Those who forget the past.  (10.26.07)
 Squamish's Mayor race is on?
 For Squamish's sake I hope so!

 Olympic horse pucky.  (10.12.07)
 Squamish's Olympic legacy? - HA!
 Bruce Allan, VANOC, it's all hooey.

 To Every Season, Turn... 

 Summer turns to fall, so they say.
 But where does that leave us?

 Rusty Never Sleeps (09.14.07)
  A stand up guy stands in.
 Rusty rant's ahoy.

 What would Ray say (08.31.07)

 Cry Over Spilt Soda 08.17.07
 Squamish pathetically announces:
 RAPE OUR TOWN! Only $100,000.
 CN Rail says "OK"

 Bigger Better Faster More 

 Summer slowdown my ass.
 Things heat up and close down.

 Hard out here in the 'cliffe 

 Squamish neighborhoods are varied.
 Here's why the 'cliffe is the shit.

 You feeling lucky?(07.13.07)
 It's Friday the 13th... Boo!

 You get what you pay for (07.06.07)
 Pay Squamish council peanuts...
 You can't get mad at the monkeys.

 Testing.. Testing.. (06.22.07)
 Test of Metal 2007. It's a good un'.

 If a trail falls...  (06.08.07)
 Our trail system is fragile.
 So are the spines of it's protectors.

 Half Way To Nowhere (05.25.07)
 Like sand in the hourglass...
 Is Squamish council half full or half empty?

 Three Strikes (05.11.07)
 Canucks choke, Squamish Chokes.
 I'm Choked.

 Earth day SUCKS! (04.27.07)
 Once a year people give a shit. We need bigger  changes.

 This is a Test   (04.13.07)
 The Malamute gets cut. Someone has to pay. Will it be  us?

 Big Deal Baby Steps  (03.30.07)
 Our trail network gets a TINY govt $. Little drop in a  BIG bucket.

 Tale of Two Travesties  (03.16.07)
 Land grabs aplenty. Only time will tell What will be left.

 Plastic Surgery Disaster (03.02.07)
 Our killer highway gets a makeover.  But who will  actually benefit?

 Thank you sir, another?   (02.16.07)
 Tough tax times for Squamish. Any bets they only  gouge the weak?

 They are right to laugh  (02.03.07)
 Squamish's mistakes just aren't funny anymore.

The Future is too bright  (01.09.07)
 Old School techno-geek cry's, "Wait up guys."

007 Squamish, our Squamish  (01.05.07)
 New Year same crap. But it's  good to be a polar bear.

Plunge Into Darkness  (12.22.06)
 BCTS spits on Squamish. Merry Christmas indeed.

Every Dollar is a Vote  (12.08.06)
We all have choices to make. Shop wisely, shop local.

We're Not In Squamish Any More (11.24.06)
Cool little town no more. Squamish says hello to the Big Box.

Here's Hoping it Adds Up  (11.10.06)
How many times will we fall for the ski resort gag?

Wet Dreams Dashed  (10.27.06)
Squamish is forced to once again wait for our ocean front climax.

GK Ripper 06  (10.13.06)
Ready. Set. Ripper

Conservative Democracy Inaction (09.29.06)
Harper as a Dicktator has me ticked off at a national level.

What Are We Afraid Of?  (09.15.06)
I've seen the enemy and they wear summer whites

Straight Outta Squampton  (09.01.06)
Yeah we got a bad rep. Wanna do somethin' bout it?

One's a Pet, Two's a Family.  (08.20.06)
There's a new kid in town!!

Eat the Past, Taste the Future  (08.04.06)
Now we have a giant tacky tourist lure... oh, good.

It's Hard Out Here For a (beer) Pimp (07.21.06)
Squamish's brewery / den of ill repute  turns 10. Thank heavens the walls  can't talk.

From the Plunge to Politics  (06.23.06)
Canada's epic once again tests metal; prepare to vote hung-over.

Wheely Fuzzy Math  (06.09.06)
Two wheels and a wallet - where does it all go?

Squamish Bi-Election 2006 (05.26.06)
I vote for no badness.

IPP Screwing  (05.12.06)
Can you break a 30?

What's An Adventure Center To Do? (04.28.06)
Another "big" project is over budget - what's new?

Where Do You Even Begin (04.14.06)
Thanks Ray: Ray Peters remembered.

What a Difference a Day Makes (03.31.06)
Early spring musing of an over heated mind.

Working For a Living (03.17.06)
Is this the best we can do?

Long Live This Dog Town (03.03.06)
A fond farewell to good times with a good friend.

Darwin Bridge (02.17.06)
Protecting your right to ride.

Truth in Adventurizing (02.03.06)
We've been called many names. Soon it will be Surrey.

Freaking Federal Follies (01.17.06)
Another bloody election. I fear my new government.

And The Winners Are....  (01.03.06)
A look back at 2005: awards given for those worthy.

It Was The Best of Times (12.23.05)
Fond memories of the Squamish Christmas nativity scene.

Back From the Election.... (12.02.05)
The more things change....

Raiser for Council!! (10.07.05)
If you want Squamish done right, I'll do it....

If Nice Guys Finish Last, What About Squamish?(09.23.05)
It's our town but money talks. Brother can you spare a dime?

Pick Your Poison and Pedal (09.09.05)
The GK Ripper 2005....

Seasons of Change Are Upon Us (08.26.05)
A summer in review - aka - what the hell happened?

Getting Away With Murder (08.12.05)
CN, one disaster after another....

Death of Radio (07.29.05)
Corporate radio still sucks....

Federal Follies (07.15.05)
The greatest show on earth....

Play Hard, Play Safe (07.01.05)
Under appreciated and over worked - lets hear it for Search and Rescue!!

Riders Ready? On Your Mark!! (06.17.05)
The "Test of Metal" brings out the nuts. And this one is Rusty....

Knock On Wood (06.03.05)
Take responsibility, not my house....

Before It Gets Better? (05.06.05)
"Vote Nader!" = George W. Bush?
"Vote Green!" = Gordon Campbell?

Lock It Or Lose It (04.22.05)
There's the lowest of the low... and then there are bike thieves.

Gas Powered Trail Trouble (04.08.05)
Two options: we work together or we kill them all.

Eight Months of Mayhem (03.11.05)
We went to the polls. One down three to go....

There's No Place Like Home (02.25.05)
We live in paradise. Parking lot coming soon....

Brother Can You Spare 20 Million? (02.11.05)
Squamish has a chance to get a pre-approved mortgage. All we have to do is trust a politician.

Selective Shock and Awe  (01.21.05)
Waves of compassion hit the shores. But why and for how long?

Are We Not Squamish? (01.07.05)
Wake up damn it!! We're not Kansas any more....

Let the Social Experiment Begin (12.31.04)
I'm a proud member of THE club....

What a Difference a Bid Makes (12.03.04)
The BC Gov's vision for Squamish: to be a toilet for Whistler and Vancouver....

One Nation... Under Educated (11.18.04)
They re-elected Bush so they're idiots. We elected Campbell; what does that make us?

What's in a Name? (11.04.04)
Spike, Lance, T-bone, ORCC. Without the balls, they're just another name....

The Best in Show (10.29.04)
And the winner is....

Everything's Harder in Squamish
We're walking tall but need more sticks....

Where do you Draw the Line (10.08.04)
"Council should pass a motion for these people to please come back when they've stopped lying...."

If You Can't Come First Come 69th
Lot's of council craziness topped off with a ripper. a GK Ripper....

When Wal-Mart Gives You Lemons (09.10.04)
Sure we're being screwed, but do we at least get dinner?

Whistler Welcome Wagon (08.13.04)
Hello and welcome to Squamish, and while you're here please shop responsibly.

Here's the Beef (07.30.04)
Johnny Cash came to Squamish, surely others will too....

Town for Sale - Vision Not Included (07.16.04)
When will people wake up and see, that damn it, we can be better....

Eenie Meenie Minority Go (06.18.04)
Our country votes no on Canadian Bush but not quite yes to anything else....

If You Build it They Will Come Angry
Stupid people are saying stupid things. Will smart people listen?

There's Gold in Them Thar Hills  (06.04.04)
Will the land be raped or loved? Only time and constant pestering will tell.

Tales to be Told  (05.21.04)
In this town there are a million stories. Now, where to put them....

Essential Serve This!  (05.07.04)
Hate Unions? Hate the Liberals? We hate it all....

Movin' On Up  (04.23.04)
Reach for the sky Squamish....

Dodge the Man  (04.16.04)
Canada: free thinkers welcome any time!

The Big Box Battle Begins (03.26.04)
Squamish sells it's soul to the Wal-Mart devil. Who knew we were so cheap.

Talk - Action = 0 (03.12.04)
Yes we have amazing potential. The good times have already begun.

Fight the Good Fight (02.28.04)
As in life, in politics you have to pick your fights....

It's a Crime (02.14.04)
Kill the poor!! 10 bonus points if it's a student!!

The Developers are Coming!! The Developers are Coming!! (01.23.04)
So much development, so many crooks. It's time for us to do some weeding....

So Many Scandals, So Little Time
Faster than you can say Gordon Campbell is a convicted criminal. The police raid the Legislature!!

Another Year, Another Dollar  (01.02.04)
2003 - The Year in Review.

Star Struck in Squish (12.19.03)
Doug is in the pub for Christmas? No way eh'?!?

De- Railed  (12.05.03)
Another sold asset and people are PISSED!! Know your enemy before attacking your friends.

Who's Your Daddy?  (11.21.03)
Canada has two Daddy's. It's not as gay as it sounds.

Pipe Dream Come True  (11.09.03)
Artists, funky hairstyles, and women wearing saran wrap... all for the kids!

The Boondoggle Man (10.26.03)
Ever wonder what the meaning of the word boondoggle was? To find out read on....

Gambling With Our Future (10.12.03)
The Bingo Barn is all about the money...YOUR money!!

Perverted Politics (09.26.03)
John Reynolds get the hell out of my bedroom!!

Wet Dreams (09.12.03)
What Squamish needs: MORE rain and LESS Bingo!!

Fire in the Hole (08.29.03)
The biscuits are burning; are we next?

The Good, the Bad, and the Squamish (08.15.03)
Old school vs new school: Squamish walks the tight rope in the struggle to maintain it's soul....

Hot Enough For Ya? (08.01.03)
The people are pissed and Gordo feels the heat.

This Little Piggy.... (07.18.03)
The Rock leaves a Squamish legacy. Now we just have to make it, bake it, or grow it.

And Away We Go (07.04.03)
Ready or not the five ring circus is coming to town.

Factory Outrage (06.20.03)
Squamish welcomes big box. Damn right I'm pissed!

Double Dog Dare (06.06.03)
Another great event and beautiful day in Squamish as we know it... for now.

Sand Wedgie (05.23.03)
Squamish's downtown once again get's sand kicked in it's face.

Drug War (05.09.03)
*Bump* ..."Oops, sorry"... Hey! That man just stole my Pharmacare!

From SARS to eternity  (04.25.03)
New boogieman on the block. Great another reason to be paranoid.

This Town Blows (04.11.03)
 Clocks forward, and the world wants in on our spit.

BC Needs a Hero (03.28.03)
So I heard a funny joke the other day. You ready? "We're getting a movie theatre!"

Vive le Valleycliffe libre! (03.14.03)
Ahhh, now I get it. Everyone is crazy.

Five Ring Circus (02.28.03)
The Olympics are an exorcize in corruption. We better stretch first.

Hip Deep in Evil (01.14.03)
Recognizing evil in the obvious places. Visa=Evil.

Only the Good... (01.31.03)
Fallen props to the first snow board hero.

Hawaii Point Eight-0 (01.17.03)
Now that my friends is hilarious!
Gordon Campbell, arrested for drinking and driving!

Let's Review (01.01.03)
2002 Year of the asinine politician!

eXcessive-Mas (12.20.02)
Tradition is the best excuse to commit any atrocity.

Moist Nostalgia (12.06.02)
Something funny's going on. Could just be the weather.

So It Begins Anew (11.22.02)
The winds of change have blown. Now the rebuilding begins.

Either Way We're Getting Drunk! (11.08.02)
Things get dirty at the all candidates meeting and Squamish waits for the call.

It's a Dirty Game (10.25.02)
Politicians have a reputation.

Back to the ol' Chip Pile (10.11.02)
Municipal elections are very close. Let's not forget who brought Squamish to the depressing state it's now in.

Ripped Again (09.27.02)
The GK Ripper, much more than a bike race. Featuring World Class Hijinks.

Squamish Who? (09.13.02)
It's been hot. Damn hot. Oh look, Liberal MLA Ted Nebling is peeing on our town.

Air Waves Goodbye (08.30.02)
Mountain FM, a cornerstone in the sea to sky corridor. But Corporate radio still sucks!

1984:20 (08.16.02)
420 - what does it mean and what's to be done about it? Does anyone else smell onion?

Addicted to Crack (08.02.02)
Beware the filthy hippies... They may be climbers!

New Hats Old Ring (07.19.02)
Hey Squamish, grow up or die.

Happy Canada Day eh' (07.06.02)
What do we have to be happy about!

University - NO
Bullshit - YES
Another failed referendum. What the hell is a private university anyway?

So You've Decided To Throw An Event (05.11.02)
This weekend we went Beyond the Valleycliffe of the Dolls... and had a good time.

Had Me a Blast (05.11.02)
Summer isn't just the season when it doesn't snow.

Come Out Come Out... (04.27.02)
Muni-election fever is about to strike. Only 6 months to the day we've been waiting years for.

Kill em' All! Let Gordo Sort em' Out! (04.13.02)
Gordon Campbell declares war on native people. What a stupid asshole.

Softwood THIS! (03.30.02)
In their most brazen move to date, USA told Canada to fuck off. Are you just going to take it?

Because it's Funny (03.15.02)
Introducing a new BC Liberal website... It would be funnier if it wasn't true.

Best Day EVER!! (03.01.02)
The day... May 23,2002. One little hockey game can make the whole country smile!

Slip Sliding Away (02.15.02)
Just what we need, a new way to break our neck's. Introducing... Suisliding

Sweet Tooth in Bitter Times (02.01.02)
When the going gets tough, the tough gets to kill the pain. Pick a crutch and run with it.

Ask an Expert (01.11.02)
Referendums are a simple case of the blind leading the stupid.

Resolutions of Champions (01.04.02)
The clock ticks as promisses are made to be broken.

Long Dark Teatime Before Christmas (12.22.01)
Merry Christmas to all. It's a time to be thankful you don't live in Trail, BC.

Those Were the Days (12.07.01)
Lawn darts and drinking and driving.
Gordon Campbell's Liberals are sending you a message "If you DRINK, DRIVE!"

By and By-election (11.23.01)
The war on tourism has another casualty.
Who dares to join the elected shenanigans.

Sea to Sky Voice Archives:

The Good, the Moral, and the Ugly (10.05.01)
Mayor and Council try to shut down our brothel. I for one, am morally opposed to all this bullshit...

Lest We forget... (09.21.01)
Those ignorant of history are doomed to repeat it.
Those that know are doomed to live through it again. More on America's stupid war....

The Boomers Had JFK... (09.14.01)
America under attack...
It's not as funny as it sounds....

604uck You (08.31.01)
Dial m for murder... but first dial 604.
Time to ponder in the shoulder season....

Go Bigger Or Go Home (08.17.01)
Limitless vertical feet over gnarly terrain. That is the "DAMN" Whistler Bike park. Bryan fall down, go boom. Nurses are good....

The Brothel Questions (the one's you were afraid to ask) (08.03.01)
There's a new business in town. Bryan welcomes the ladies to our little neck of the woods. Taste the forbidden fruit at the Garden of Eden....

Bring em' On! (07.20.01)
Log stardate 2010 - After the horrible deaths in Beijing, Vancouver/Whistler seems like a good idea. Squamish is the little town with Olympic potential....

The Test 2001 (07.06.01)
It began one year ago and I'm still in the race. The Test of Metal Weekend once again hits Squamish. Read all the spills and dirt for a fraction of the cost....

Tour de Squamish (06.22.01)
Go on an 11 hour bike ride they said, sure I said. Holly Crap is right! So sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip....

Training? We Need No Stinkn' Training (06.08.01)
As the Test of Metal approaches. Some hide, some scream, some train....

Love Me I'm A Liberal (05.25.01)
Eeeeek! Hide the children, it's Gordon and he's smiling. Provincial Politics at it's finest. Liberals by a landslide. Will anyone defend the NDP? I'll give it a try....

Let er' RIPPER! (05.11.01)
The GK. RIPPER. A bike race for a friend. Hundreds show up including the big name boys and girls. Once again, Squamish kicks ass!

Kill The Poor (04.27.01)
Riot's in Quebec. Dub-ya, Cretin and the other finest minds in the hemisphere make their plans behind a big ol' fence. Could it have been different?

Deja W (04.thirteen.01)
!WARNING! Contents include: Obvious pent up frustration with the target being Squamish Council. George gets a bit too....

2001 - Year Of The PIG (03.30.01)
Big bikes with big attitudes. Are shuttlers all lazy bastards? What are you gonna' do about it?

A Cagey Rusty (03.16.01)
What wonderful weather? Rusty drops a line from the front. Can Mother nature handle the pressure?

Brew Ha Ha (03.02.01)
Bullies and boycotts. Squamish is home to some of the best. But now it stops at the pub....

And The "Winner" Is... (02.16.01)
A historic public meeting and an uncertain future. It all comes down to the classic "What Now?"

Would The Real Squamish Please Stand Up (02.02.01)
The final woodchip battle royal. Corrine & Council VS the people... who's going to win? Lets hope Squamish....

This One's For The Lawyers (01.19.01)
I'm nominated for citizen of the Year. Plus Coors Light and Mt. Dew are coming to town - don't worry, you don't actually have to drink it....

Sweet Baby Jesus (12.22.00)
Oh my god, they've stole the baby Jesus... YOU BASTARDS!

The Eye's of a Drunk (12.08.00)
Me, loose in The Great Canadian Beer Fest - Canada's Largest micro brewery festival. Details are sketchy... Oh there were hijinks my friend....

It's Not All Bad (10.27.00)
Great food and beer at the Howe Sound Inn and Brewing Company. Plus the Test of Metal actually makes money....

Burn em' If Ya Got em' (08.01.00)
Tales of a Napster addict. Included are the sweet nothings I tell myself to sleep at night....

Thrift Store Junkie (07.18.00)
Squamish offers many things to many people. To the thrift store junkie it offers heaven. But there is a dark side....

They're Filming a Movie? (07.04.00)
Rusty Shackleford fills in with some insight into the thousands of movie crews "filming" movies or so they say!

Tool Time (06.21.00)
Shell Busey - to some a man with tools. To others a man who can show us the way. This is the story of one such man....

New Blood (06.01.00)
The first of what is to be many. Squamish's Test of Metal. 67 kilometers of community spirit and kick ass Mountain Biking....


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