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Softwood THIS! (03.30.02)


"Free trade must be a two-way street to be viable, and the United States is tired of being taken advantage of by Canada's forestry policy," - U.S. Sen. Max Baucus

My first brush with our red white and blue neighbors was during a soccer
exchange. There our team learned quite quickly that American children had
absolutely no knowledge of the world outside their suburbs. This was endless
fun as we quickly convinced countless yanks that we do in fact live in igloos except for the summer when we become a nomadic tribe and follow the hunt.

Please don't get me wrong, living here it's impossible to escape their all encompassing culture, and that culture certainly isn't without it's gems. I have no problem with that, what I do have a huge problem with, is their foreign policy taken directly from the schoolyard.

On the world scene no bully has stolen more lunch money, beaten up more
foreign kids, or flushed more heads down the toilet than Americans. But it wasn't until this most recent softwood sucker punch that most Canadians are realizing just what kind of corrupt, mean spirited neighbors we have.

So how do we deal with them? Take them to court? Naw, we should do what should have been done a long time ago. Cut em' off!

They raped their land until nothing is left so now, to survive, they need our hydro, steel, oil, and whether they want to believe it or not they still desperately need our wood. Shall we just say no more? Well NAFTA says we can't, so from this moment forth I propose a 150% arrogance tax be added to each and every resource that makes it's way into their selfish, pudgy little mitts. And at the slightest hint of a tantrum or a crocodile tear. 200%!

But that's for bigger heads to employ. Locally we can make a difference by
taking a lesson from my good friend Mark. If you want to hurt Americans, stop buying their products. Now when I go shopping, I check out the origin. Every item, be it vegetable, candy or beef, if it says USA, drop it and move on to one that doesn't. Sure it's a challenge but it's also kind of fun and quite a proud feeling when your cart is filled with Canadian (or other forign lands) food. Who knows, you may even find a new favorite food this way. And how's this for convenient. At this very moment Americas largest company is desperately trying to set up shop in Squamish. How about we tell Wall MartUSA to go blow it out their softwood assets. Before, you may have voted to have them in town but as it stands now, you have two choices. You can put down your saw, admit that the US won, and beg for a job as a Wall Mart greeter. Or join me and fight these red white and blue bastards with every fiber of your being!

Well Squamish, what's it going to be?


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