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Training? We Don't Need No Stinkn' Training (06.08.01)
So the test of metal weekend fast approachath. This to me is very exciting. This event is easily one of the biggest to hit Squamish every year and the turnout is remarkable. Certainly one of the highlights is the amount of community support. Right now as you read this very column people are scurrying about making sure all the pylons are counted and the course neatly trimmed for the big day. Every year over 500 people come out to help and make this event a success.
So here's an idea. This event is big, dare I say huge. With people traveling from near and far bring with them their disposable incomes to spend in our fair boutiques and such. One might say this would be a good chance to show these visitors just what we have to offer in the way of hospitality so they might return with not only their disposable incomes, but perhaps the disposable incomes of their friend's and family as well. (Insert clever-yet-scathing line about our tourism funding being cut).
So as the behind the scenes action carries on, it leaves the rest of us clowns who have decided to enter the race to prepare. Last year I rode the course but didn't train. This year I thought, if I'm going to subject myself to that hell again, I want to be better prepared. So seeking knowledge I did what anyone in Squamish would do, I proceed immediately to the library.
But it being Friday the doors were closed and I was really mad. Although I'm sure I'd be much more ticked off about the library funding being cut if I could actually read. Turned away, yet still thirsty for knowledge, I wandered the deserted streets. Then, like a twisted flashback fairy-tale angel came Jack.
Let me tell you about jack. This man knows something or two about nutrition and he's not afraid to talk to you about it. Oh my gosh I forgot, I lied. Last year I did in fact train for the Test of Metal. My training comprised of me running into Health Food Heaven the day before the race screaming "Crap! I'm in this race tomorrow, you got any magic potions?" why yes, yes he did. Since then I've sworn by them.
I could go into details but that would be really boring since I don't' know any. What I do know is that there's 2 of them. One pre-race and the other for during the race, and they work. But the skeptics say (insert clever yet scathing line about skeptics). yes I too once poo-poo'd the health drink mumbo jumbo but let me tell you this peddling a 34lb bike up Diamond Head Road in second ring simply should not happen. But it does, and I'm placing my bets on the two drinks prior rather than the 4 pints previous. Get em' pre mixed and you're half way done training, now you have only to peddle 'till you puke. Tee-hee it's going to be so much fun.
Oh yeah, one last piece of advice. Navy Rum is
the energy drink your mother warned you about.
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