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The Boondoggle Man (10.26.03)


“He don’t know me to well, do he?” – B. Bunny

Holy cow I ticked off the largest man in Canadian politics. For those of you just tuning in, a couple weeks back I called down our MP John Reynolds. I took exception with his wasting taxpayers money debating the word marriage, as well I questioned the thinking behind his attacks on a million federal dollars destined for our community.

Well blow me down if John isn’t the first politician to write me a letter to the editor. You’ve got to admire that kind of moxie.

Being an old growth politician, John was able to spin my criticism of him by attacking me personally and professionally. Luckily, he said “Raiser’s philosophy of never criticizing government decisions” proved he has no idea what the hell he’s talking about.

Actually, I was surprised to find out that John even knows Squamish exists, since politically, he doesn’t have to. Much like provincial politics, Squamish is simply the working class pimple on the ass of West Van which happens to be the richest community in Canada. So, when your main platform is tax breaks for the rich, it’s quite easy to ignore the plight of the working community.

Now, I’m forced to reiterate that we shouldn’t even be discussing this project in these fragile stages. We’re only doing so because a leak wants this project destroyed and they made sure their poisoned water made it all the way to the top. Make no mistake, if he wanted to, John knows he could easily crush this project. All he has to do is stand up and scream boondoggle. Before he does though, he should very carefully consider if our community really deserves his wrath.

For as long as I’ve been alive, John has been attacking the federal Liberals so its no surprise he jumped at the opportunity here. But now he has to decide if he really wants to use our million dollars to give the Liberals a black eye. If I was a Jedi I’d step up to him, sweep two fingers in a circle and in a cool voice say, ‘this is not the scandal you are looking for’. But I’m not, I’m I writer forced to use “the old and easy way of putting together words to make a column.”

Lastly, I’ve chosen to accept the generous proposal/challenge “if Raiser were to try to follow federal politicians for a month he’d last a week” If you’re suggesting that I couldn’t run around going to meeting’s on the taxpayer’s dime you might be surprised. So if you were sincere, you name the month and I’ll gladly let you show me the ropes. Who know’s, we both may learn something. I await your invitation and more importantly, my expense account.

But until that time, Squamish is falling and you have a choice. What will it be John? The million dollar parachute? Or will you once again toss us flippant remarks oozing with the righteous indignation reserved for those weaned on the taxpayer’s teat.


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