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...Because It's Funny. (03.15.02)


"Get ready for hospital closures, delays in access to health care and waits for ambulances so long that patient safety may be at risk."

- Stolen directly from one of the many leaky Liberal memos.

Back in the day when Mountain Burger could feed an insatiable grease craving
24 hours a day; I used to go to the library on Saturdays and sign up for Internet time. There I would directly log on to the brilliantly written newspaper spoof www.theonion.com

"I'm Like a Chocoholic, but for booze", "World Trade Center hijackers surprised to find themselves in hell". It's headlines like these with the content to match that makes The Onion such a great read. As fabulous and brilliant as it is, at the end of the day it is an American publication and Canadian issues simply don't come up. Sure there are countless other media/humor sites out there but few cut as deeply and as well as The Onion... Until now.

www.globalbs.8k.com.

The mighty Sun/Province/Global machine has attempted to shut it down several times, however, for the moment they're a tall, loud, and very funny spoof of news sources and current BC politics. I was actually about to send them my latest Internet idea but decided to give you the first crack at it.

The idea came to me when I received a list of the proposed cuts to pay for Gordon Campbell's tax cut for the hoity-toity. I say this because if you earned less than 60 G's the bulk of your rebate evaporated into "fees". So to pay for their newfound riches some things have to go. Things like hospitals, honor and humanity. After the fourth hospital closure threat and another broken contract, the idea came for a website.

www.gordoncampbellwantsyoudead.com

Featuring: The Gordon Campbell Death clock! The death clock would count the number of people who had to die to buy the rich nice things. So for everyone that will die from: hospital closures, drinking and driving (counterattack cut), avalanche (advisory cut), road racing (photo radar cut), and those who die because they couldn't get an ambulance and can't afford a cab. Then of course there are the families with handicapped children who commit mass suicide because they just can't keep up with the cuts.

But just you wait, the clock will really start movn' once they rewrite WCB. Hey, "Safety First" may save lives but a couple dead trades people will buy some investor a really nice yacht. The only rationalization I can think for all this mess is that the BC Liberals have finally crossed the fuzzy line between political party and ideological cult. I just wish they'd make us drink Kool-Aid like other self-respecting cults. Now normally, I have no problem with cults; I only have one rule: "don't hurt anyone". Unfortunately the Cult of Gordo will have an incalculable death toll and that is something I simply won't tolerate.


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