Ahh the holidays. Peppermint canes, good friends, colorful lights and liquor by the bucket. I suppose there’s an upside to getting devastating news at this time of year in that there are plenty of distractions to momentarily forget worries. Distractions like a hot cuppa coco, and a good story about the ol’ days. If I may, here’s one of my favorite Squamish Christmas tales.
The month was December and the town was one we would scarcely recognize as the Squamish of today. It was always during this most festive of seasons I would get very excited knowing at any moment we would once again enjoy the drama surrounding our cheeky baby Jesus.
You see, for several years my heart lit up at the sight of Squamish's lovely little nativity scene at the entrance to town. I was excited because I knew it would be no more than two sleeps before the baby Jesus mysteriously disappeared (This of course was before they got wise and started chaining the little guy down.). He disappeared many times, always returning for a day or two only to be baby nabbed again.
Every year it was the same routine, on my walk to and from work I would admire the handy work of holiday pranksters and see who could be accounted for. Most years the baby Jesus saw the most action, taking off for a couple days and returning only to be taken again. Sometimes the culprits would also take Mary, which is nice because during the holidays we should be with our mothers. A personal favorite though was after the 3rd disappearance the baby Jesus was replaced by an empty 26er of Jim Beam. I always was a sucker for creative Christmas craziness. So, approaching what would forever be known as the turning year, I anxiously awaited the new story to unfold.
The stage was set. Baby Jesus, three wise guys, a couple farm animals and some hay, everything was comin' up Christmas. Sure enough, the action started early with a quick theft and return. Ex-celent I thought, this ought to be a good year for the baby Jesus. Then, in what just seemed to be the way things were going in our town, everything went wrong. Some, how shall we say… "ignorant human crapholders" took it too far.
They didn't only take the baby Jesus and all his friends and family… they burned his shack to the ground! To use a popular quote from the time… "YOU BASTARDS!"
Oh there was much cursing and upset caused by those hell bound miscreants, but did it ruin Christmas? No, Squamolians gathered like all the Who’s down in Whoville and with some quick work by some wonderful souls, a makeshift nativity scene was erected proving once again that you simply can’t burn down the spirit of the holidays.
Now you run along, have a good Christmas, and the best of luck to all of Squamish this new year. We’re going to need it.