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Those Were the Day's (12.07.01)
The following letter was sent to Bryan Raiser with a hand knitted copy forwarded to the Chief for publication.
Hey Bryan it's me, your friend in high places, the Honorable Rusty. I was just reminiscing on the age of the lawn dart. Remember that? Our parents would enjoy their liquid lunches on the patio while watching us huck at each other 6" metal spikes that were made sharper and sharper each time they hit a rock in the grass. Then in the evening, especially around the holidays, people would say things like "Oh, one more for the road" and "I can't walk, but I can still drive." Ahhh, those were the days, when drinking and driving wasn't a problem, it was a solution.
Right then and there, strolling along memory lane was the first time I was glad Gordon Campbell got elected. Oh, sure when he was elected I knew that Pharmacare, Medicare, or anything else that was designed to help out those less fortunate, were about to be a thing of the past. Heck it came as no shock the Social Credit - Oh sorry, now they're the Liberal party - are doing their best to build our province one pink slip at a time.
Did you hear the latest? They're getting rid of ICBC Road Checks! Yup, word has it that the NDP (now known as the government that didn't want you dead) left enough in the kitty so the program that saves countless lives could run until the end of the holiday season. Then it's liberal doses of insanity as the cuts are made and it's cool again to drink and drive. Their plan? Remove it from ICBC and give it to the police department. That makes sense. Remove all the funding from a huge program, then give it to people who are already stretched to the breaking point.
So, the message the chums and me are getting at the sleazy speakeasy. Finish your 26er of Jed's home brew and get behind the wheel knowing it's still very much illegal, but there's not going to be a single ICBC road check on your way home.
Word has it; the Liberals will actually give you a fruit basket if you nail someone on EI.
The hunting couldn't be better now that they've cut all the good paying jobs. Plus, with that softwood suckerpunch from our greedy, childish neighbors, the EI train is getting pretty full my friend.
I tell ya' everyone used to hate ICBC, but no one really knew what they did. Heck with their road checks, even the hardest core of my buddies wouldn't get behind the wheel. But now that wonderful privatization is heading our way, it's once again open season on those who can't afford to get out of the way.
Well I should run, the plant closes in a week and the EI office closes in an hour.
Keeping my good eye out for you,
Rusty Shackleford
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