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Sweet Baby Jesus (12.22.00)
The amazing weather we've enjoyed this fall has certainly played havoc with my festive clock. Here it is Christmas already and for the first time that I can ever remember, I didn't even enjoy an advent calendar.
But what I have enjoyed, and do so every year, is the drama surrounding my favorite little bastard. the baby Jesus.
For the last several years my heart has lit up at the sight of Squamish's lovely little nativity scene at the entrance to town, just beside the big sandbox. My heart lights up because I know it will be no more than 2 sleeps before the baby Jesus mysteriously disappears. In 96 I noticed he disappeared twice, each time returning for a day or two only to be baby nabbed again.
Every year after it was the same routine, on my walk to and from work I would admire the handy work of holiday pranksters and see who could be accounted for. Most years the baby Jesus sees the most action, taking off for a couple days and returning only to be taken again. Some times the culprits would also take Mary, which is nice because during the holidays we should be with our mothers. My favorite though would have to be last year when after the 3rd disappearance, the baby Jesus was replaced by an empty 26er of Jim beam. Ahhhh, I am a sucker for creative Christmas craziness. So it was this year that I anxiously awaited the new story to unfold.
The stage was set. The baby Jesus, the three wise guys, a couple farm animals and some hay, everything was comin' up Christmas. The action this year started early, with a quick theft and return. Ex-celent I thought, this ought to be a good year for the baby Jesus. Then, in what just seems to be the way things are going in this town. everything went to shit! Some, how shall we say. "ignorant human crapholders" took it too far.
They didn't only take the baby Jesus and all his friends and family. they burned his shack to the ground! To overuse a pop culture quote. "YOU BASTARDS!"
Sure the pope said there's no longer a hell, but I'm sure they'll open it up again for you heartless guys/girls. And as for the wonderful soul(s) who created the makeshift nativity. Thank you, you give me hope.
Phew, that feels better. Well, with that out of the way I would like to take this moment to send out some special Christmas greetings.
To our economic development officer - a thank you for
all your hard work.
To the parks and rec. commission - thank you for all your hard work.
To the staff at municipal hall who had to deal with the media - thank
you for all your hard work.
To the countless volunteers who have tried to make this town move forward
only to be crushed by some of our elected officials- thank you for all
your hard work.
To Our Mayor of a thousand hats -you've taken all the power, you better
be ready to take all the blame.
And to the rest of you working stiffs, this holiday season, get loaded, keep your head high, and hang on to your hats, cuz 2001 is going to be a doozy!
Bryan lives in Squamish where he continues to watch
the drama unfold.
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