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Resolutions of Champions (01.04.02)
So, it's been two years now since the Y2K bogeyman decided not to destroy the world. I can't help but think I was not the only one disappointed when the little hand reached one and after all that hubbub, I still had a Visa bill that would remain unpaid for years. The only thing that Y2K would really do is once again disappoint the anarkid in all of us. Well, that and perhaps disable a spell checker or two, because I really don't think that anarkid is a word.
One thing I have noticed, since the big disappointment there has been far, far less resolution talk. With the threat of the computer world ending it would appear everyone looked forward to computers, rather than a weak will, to make quick work of any possible resolutions.
For me, resolutions became ridiculous after the 16th time the quit smoking/eat right/exercise resolution exploded into a fit of nicotine/chocolate/couch surfing.
Being older and Wiser's, I now realize that New Years resolutions are nothing more than drunk talk promises of midnight. Promises that we're traditionally allowed to, or almost expected to, break.
So what are my new years resolutions? Glad you asked.
Well, in keeping with the spirit of the holidays, I resolve to be more tolerant of the shortcoming of others.
I also resolve to stop hating BC Rail even though it
appears they hate us. Why else would residents, and others with disposable
incomes, be stuck in our freak show main street because a rail yard is
blocking the only entrance to downtown.
I suppose I will also resolve to stop laughing every time I hear our officials
say, "We want BC Rail to move those tracks". This one will be
tough seeing as though the first 400 times I thought it was frightfully
funny. Frankly I'm surprised we could even hear them all the way from
that back pocket.
I resolve to welcome the death of downtown with the dignity
shown by those carrying the coffin.
I resolve to welcome our new downtown in the Industrial park. It would
appear some in the community knew all along about the move from Cleveland
to the Industrial Park. Oops, sorry that was changed to the Business Park.
Oops, sorry again, It appears now it will be known as the Super Downtown
Highway Stripmall.
Perhaps hardest of all, I resolve to love Americans. I may even go so far as to join in their custom of getting really drunk, having a couple smokes, popping a Zanex or two then imprisoning people for doing 'drugs'.
While I'm at it, I resolve to once and for all cleanse myself of common sense and join, full bore the war on terrorism. Just so I get this right, the war on terrorism is only on poor, colored people who have access to oil, right?
And lastly but certainly not leastly,
I resolve to break all my resolutions.
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