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Wild Hogs

Director: Walt Becker
Cast: Tim Allen, John Travolta, Martin Lawrence
Rated: PG-13
99 minutes


I’m so sorry. This film has been out for a couple weeks now and I offer a heartfelt apology to not being able to warn you earlier. For those considering at this point to see this film, please bludgeon yourself with a mallet. Or perhaps take this time to shampoo a rabid ferret, pull out your toenails, or even see if it is possible to eat your own hand. Each of these activities would be time better spent then if you saw this downright abysmal road trip film.

The plot revolves around four mid life crisis yuppies who subject themselves to homophobic jokes and bad biker stereotypes. There’s Tim Allen, the dentist who’s kid thinks he’s a loser. Martin Lawrence, the token black with an overbearing stereotypical black wife. John Travolta, pretending not to be bankrupt and divorced, and William H. Macy, the klutzy computer programmer.

Now that’s Star power, and that’s all this film has going for it. Since each of these aging actors have been in other films you might have enjoyed, one might think there has to be at least something funny in here to sacrifice an hour and a half of your time. I thought the same and boy howdy was I wrong.

I’m sure they’re fine people, and they never meant any harm; but if and when any of these actors find themselves at the fiery gates of hell they’ll knowingly shake their heads and say “This is for Wild Hogs isn’t it?”

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