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Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer
Director: Tim Story
Cast: Jessica Alba, Michael Chiklis, Chris Evans, Ioan Gruffudd
Rated: PG
89 minutes
[My diverse career has seen many written words. But never have I received praise and comments as when I penned a review for the original, alarmingly hideous, Fantastic Four. And since Hollywood is content to re-deliver their crap, who am I to not re-deliver my gold?]
If you can't say anything nice...
Fantastic Four: Rise, is the biggest piece of….
…and that’s the nicest thing I can say about…
You know what? No. I’m not going to lower myself to Tinseltown's standards. This movie is so downright hokum that it doesn’t deserve to be let off so easily. Sadly there are not enough trees left to provide the paper necessary to fully encompass this film’s faults.
Quickly: Jessica Alba still can’t act. The Silver Surfer (one of the comic world’s coolest characters) deserved much better than to be attached to this heinous franchise. The plot, if you believe it, is actually worse than the original steaming pile of asinine drivel. The CGI graphics were nothing special, and the product placements were offensive.
Hello Hollywood? Are you listening? Million dollar pieces of garbage like this are the reason your industry is suffering record losses at the box office. Dear god make the crap-o-rama stop!
And how sad is this, they don’t even bother putting the effort of
making this film the standard hour and a half. I suppose that’s
the nicest thing to say about it.
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